Bievenue 2012*

*the French effect is due to the fact that I spent all morning at work perusing through my Paris photographs.

I wonder why I have made ‘This is not a .. ’ line a signature style. Not that I write it much, but it is the first thing to spring to my head whenever I write anything. So this time, I am not going to define. I had the best, craziest New Year’s bash in a long, long time. It was an amazing start to the New Year and has left me completely content and happy.

2011 was a lot of things. 2011 began with reminding me what it felt like to work really hard, have sleepless nights, be passionate to the point of obsession about something and then, do it spectacularly well. It was a feeling I had forgotten somewhere in the drift of college and growing up. It made me sleep well at night. That feeling was important and I have a feeling, the memory of how that felt will define how I do a lot of things this year. 2011 was the year of graduating, the most terrifying transition in life. It left me confused and disillusioned. And rather unhappy. 2011 has also been the year of drift, of confusion, of moments of hopelessness. 2011 was the year when I saw how difficult relationships can be and that you have to see the effort people put into them before deciding whether you doing enough or not. 2011 was a year of random fears and randomer feelings. 2011 was the year of my first foreign trip and the desire to fly all around the world. 2011 was the year of joining Google and realizing how quickly people can move from being colleagues to friends and that I don’t necessarily have to be wary of the big, bad world. There are plenty of good people in there and I will find them. 2011 was the year of many moments of ecstasy at the idea that the most fantastic things can happen to you, that the most ridiculous dreams can come true, if you have faith and hang in there.

I hope 2011 has made me a stronger, wiser person. i hope it has made me believe in looking at the bright side of things and putting things into perspective. I hope it has taught me to have patience and accept what I cannot change and to constantly ask myself – what would I do if I was not afraid? I hope I have learnt all that 2011 had to teach and I will not make those mistakes, making myself and those who love me unhappy.

2011 was a lot of things. I want 2012 to be more. And I know it will all have to come from myself. I want 2012 to give me answers. I want resolutions and new beginnings. I want to learn more about the world and its workings, look beyond my cozy space. At the same time, I want to find myself [No, I have not ‘lost’ myself, that’s impossible to do] I want to have answers to any personal questions I may be asked [rudely or not] I want to spend more time with people I love. And those who love me. I want to travel randomly, take off suddenly and fly away. I also want 48 hours in a day. I want to bring my focus back to my life and what I would do with it if I were completely alone. I want to love more deeply, live more freely, not fear heartbreak and care a little less.

I want 2012 to be awesome. And not just because the world is going to end.

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