WE HAVE MOVED!

I just came here to put up this big sign-board and let you know where you can find me now

 

Jumping on the bandwagon big time, I will now be found at *drum-roll*

 

www.neelakshi.tumblr.com

 

See you there!

 

House Hunting

I am moving. I am making a new home on the web. I love WordPress. It’s clean, simple, easy to use and has an awesome iPhone app. But I am bored of this blog. That’s just me. I get bored with these techy things very fast. Very fast. I am already bored of my iPhone 4 and it’s only … err … 5 months old. Unfortunately, I don’t have any, even sliiiiiightly better option than this phone. So no choice. But I can explore the web. Make a home on different sites. Wander about. And I am going to do so.

I made this blog when I was lonely. Very lonely. Most of these posts are reminiscent of an October I would rather forget. The title of this post comes from the same time (I had not thought of it when I put up the title) I’m not lonely any more. And this blog has lost it’s purpose. But I don’t want to delete it. Its history that has built up to make the present day. So it shall stay as a link in my new home.

I am currently house-hunting. I will inform you of my whereabouts soon. Till then, take care.

I shall also learn to stop writing as if millions were reading this. But sometimes, delusion is allowed. And I have always loved the limelight.

Zinda rehti hai unki *beep*

This is just something disturbing I noticed while [sleepily] watching Mohabbatein for the 150th time on SetMax/Sony some days ago. I was one of the few people fortunate enough to not have watched it in the theatre and thus, have not developed an intense dislike for it. Watching it in bits and pieces over the years, I still enjoy it whenever it comes on TV.

POINT IN MIND : I have ONLY seen the movie on TV.

This movie has this particular scene showing Shamita Shetty and Uday Chopra kissing, which in my opinion is no kiss, seriously. I have spotted couples more openly intimate in Connaught place/Khan Market, for heaven’s sake. The Censor Board also obviously agrees with me since this movie was given a ‘U’ rating in 2000 [over a decade ago]. Therefore, since 2000, I safely assumed that this particular movie is child-safe. And village safe. And “Indian culture” safe. And most importantly, TV – safe, for how else would I even know of the existence of this kiss? This is the year 2000.

Circa mid-2011, I am jerked out of my sleepy state when I see that the said kiss has been abruptly and rather terribly cut. Censored. Not shown. And it’s glaringly obvious that something has been edited. And that’s the disturbing bit. I am not even going to go into a principled argument on how a ‘U’ movie should be shown without cuts on TV because that is a much larger issue. This is a scene that was shown on TV earlier! So, what was fit for me to see at the age of ten is not fit when I am twenty one. Or rather, what was fit for families and kids in 2000 is suddenly not fit in 2011. Why is television suddenly moving backwards?

If media is a reflection of society, then we are in deep trouble indeed. And maybe I shouldn’t blame the TV channels for the editing since in 2011, all media content needs to be Muthalik/MNS/random moral police – safe as well. People with no work and a hunger for publicity and easy access to it through irresponsible media. Not just these people, many others who have suddenly realised that -

1. there is a way to get famous easily

2. tackling a real issue takes too much hard work and risk

3. its easy to bring up “bhartiya sanskaar” since any argument against that becomes “hurting the sentiment ji”

4. the Government is not going to take any harsh measures since everyone’s opinion must be respected in a democracy [apart from the liberal man's opinion]

And therefore, while the world moves forward, socially, we move backward. We are slowly and steadily moving backwards to feudalism and the resultant patriarchy. While khap panchayats are an extreme example, editing out a kiss that was shown on TV previously is no less wrong. Or disturbing.

This may sound harsh and unacceptable in a “democracy” but I really think someone needs to take the whip and crack it. Simply turn a deaf ear to protests against ‘obscenity’ since people have no idea what obscenity really means. Get sensible people to censor films and TV, if censorship is deemed so essential. Stop this nonsensical censorship of a kiss – atleast don’t regress from existing standards, please! Let’s please remember, when we should respect ‘everyone’s’ opinion, the opinion of a liberal, open minded , progressive individual has to be respected as well. In conflicting opinions, it’s important to remember that upholding a Muthalik is curbing other freedoms of a lot of people and eventually reducing democracy and freedoms to a sham. We cannot have another MF Hussain. All this dogma and conservatism and theistic upholding of “Indian Culture” is only going to create uncritical, unthinking people who are afraid to challenge even that which instinctively feels wrong. Or a class of people which is indifferent to moral policing. And that will make us vulnerable to being taken over and ruled again. I know I sound very extreme. But one small thing leads to the next and like Ramjas debaters say, it’s a “slippery slope”

There’s so much more I could say. But I’ll leave it for later. Or everything will sound mixed up. Right now, I want that kiss back in Mohabbatein. Not because I enjoy watching it but because Aditya Chopra wanted to show it. And once upon a more sensible time, the censors accepted.

The Unbearable Randomness Of Being-II

Now I was looking at the watchman today and since I feel like attributing my idleness to everyone I see, I felt for the poor man. What a boring job! All he does is sit around under a tree, occasionally chatting with my driver(if the car’s at home) or most of the times, staring into space like me. Now I have a million things I can do if I found the energy for it. He is doing what most people do from 9am-5pm-earning his living! But how monotonous! He comes running up to the gate to open and close it every time anyone walks in or out of the building and carries your shopping bags to your house. That’s about all.And frankly, if a thief was to come to rob me, I don’t see this man being of much use in protecting us! He’s thin and lanky, carries no stick/gun etc. He’ll probably be the mouse who flees a sinking ship. He’s probably pretty qualified and just can’t get a job due to the recession. Which means he isn’t really wanting to be a watch-man. Why would he then risk his life to save my valuables? Now, I think this man is rather useless!  Awara hoon, ya gardish mein hoon, aasman ka tara hoon!

I wonder why some people just don’t speak. Now, I love talking and hearing the sound of my voice. And I never understood how people can not like it. Some people stubbornly refuse to talk! Like, its a red-letter day the day you hear them talk. Like Shy-Boy in the DebSoc. I mean, he never talks and I’m certain he goes off to sleep when others are talking to him! Don’t such people ever fear they’ll lose their voice? I mean, look at it. You keep an appliance in storage for a long, long time. When you finally take it out and decide to use it, you can never be certain the damned thing will work. Its been unused for so long. More often than not, it will require oiling and will creak irritatingly. Don’t such quiet people fear that when they do eventually put their voices to use, their voices might not work due to lack of use? Isn’t it better to keep it in constant use and be assured it will work when you need it?(Ye dosti hum nahi todenge!)

Why am I bored with life? Why do I complain that I have nothing to do? I mean, I am doing English[Hons]. I have a million books to read and supposedly interesting ones at that. I have research projects to complete, I have movies to watch, music to listen to and a blog to write. Why am I still bored? And these are activities I enjoy doing. But idleness is getting to me and this lack of productivity has definitely addled my brains. Look at the string of nonsense I have been writing about. Do you need more proof? I think I need to define what I mean by productivity first and then cut down on my sleep. I sleep far too much! And then I need to find something to do. Wait!I already have a lot to do. I need to find the motivation to do them! (Main aisa kyun hoon?)

Now that I am getting tired of typing again, I am reminded of the lost art of writing. This computer has ruined all our habits. I remember when we were kids, we were told to write with ink-pens to improve our handwriting. I remember practicing my cursive for days on end to be able to write beautifully. Today, though, no one cares about their handwriting because everything is typed! Even love letters have lost their charm. Love e-mails are just not the same (I don’t get either so I don’t know why I’m complaining!) But it was nice to see bits of articles and poems in neat handwriting. It gave a feeling of belonging when you could see and recognize a friend’s handwriting. Hand-written notes in pretty coloured pens and hand-made paper are such a thing of the past. Handwriting formed a part of your personality. It often suggested some trait. Like people looked at my handwriting and told me I’m an introvert. I still have to find that side of me! I guess its a boon for those who scrawled instead of writing. But I miss ‘writing’ just the same!

Writing. Now I can make a connection. I think Milan Kundera is really random. I read his book, I liked it but I still felt it was way too abstract. I really did not get what he was trying to say. I don’t think I like abstraction too much. Many different stories, while each one of them made sense on their own, their was always something missing in each of them. And I don’t know where he linked it all together and how they all made sense(if they did). Thus, this randomness is for him. And the title, a steal from his book (the one I have’nt read yet)

I want to read ‘The Unbearable Lightness Of Being’. I want to read it because I love the song Iktara from Wake Up Sid. And a review described this song as portraying the unbearable lightness of being. So, now I want to read the book to connect it with the song! Bollywood is my biggest inspiration. I love it when life represents the movies, when I can sing a song for any incident, when we liveour lives the way those characters live theirs! I wanted to read Anna Karenina after I came to know that Kareena Kapoor was named after her. I love my Bollywood connection and that I am totally Bollywood! And as long as Bollywood inspires me to read good books., I think its doing a good job, isn’t it? Isn’t it?

Jeena yahan, marna yahan

Iske siwa jaana kahan,

Jee chaahe jab humko aawaz do,

Hum hain yahin, tum bhi yahan!

I can’t believe I can be this random! And even more surprising is that I enjoy it! These oh-so-random things give incredibly lazy people like me so much food for thought! Next time I stare out into space, I’ll theorize about why beaches are better than hills! Its better than tackling Dr.Faustus any day!

The Unbearable Randomness Of Being

Why does it happen that every time I stare into space, a string of completely random unrelated thoughts come into my head? My brain is a rather chaotic place because at any given point of time, there’s always a song playing in my head (Iktata from Wake Up Sid at this point) Added to that, I’m thinking of completely random, unrelated things. Even when I was thinking of Miss.World and Obama, I was actually wondering why did Priyanka Chopra agree to do a film like ‘What’s your rashee?’ That movie when I want to nominate her for the Peace Prize! Now tell me, where does the peace prize figure in Bollywood? Unless Katrina Kaif plays the role of Mother Teresa in some movie.

Then I see the curtains that have recently been put up in my room (still hunting for red ones, these are temporary) They completely change the atmosphere of my room! So from a drab, cold, rather uninviting place, its suddenly transformed into a comfortable, warm, inviting place. Now I don’t want to move out from this room and my father does not appreciate me throwing a tantrum and asking for my meals here! And if white curtains can do such magic, imagine what the red curtains(if I ever get them) will do! Its amazing how simple curtains can change the entire feel of a place. Its like this thing you never notice when its there but hate its absence. I always thought curtains were a pain because I had to iron them and hang them every time they got washed. Now, having seen my room without them, they are going to be my most prized possession! (Song playing in head- Parde mein rehne do, parda na uthao!)

Dancing is so much fun! I always knew it and realized it again that day. Its recreational, the best form of exercise and the greatest stress-buster ever! And the best part about it is that you don’t need anything to enjoy it. Just put on some music (any music) and shake your body! If you are fans of your own singing (like me), you don’t even need the music. Just sing and dance to your own tune! Its one recreational activity you don’t even need to be good at. All that’s required to be able to burn the dance floor is enthusiasm. Some of my beat dance partners are people with two-left feet! There was never an activity that was as much fun as dancing. I love dancing! It gets my blood flowing, adrenaline pumping and my mood just gets better! Its the best way to spend those ten minutes between two chapters during exams! (Song playing in head-Dhan te nan!)

Now dance reminds me of stress. I have noticed one thing in these past few weeks or months (difficult to define the time) Everyone is unhappy. I know that everyone has problems in their lives at all times but its not often that all my friends seem to concur with me when I say,”life sucks!” Now my problem is my joblessness(if there is such a word) and the fact that ‘An idle mind is a devil’s workshop” Amongst my closest friends-Rockstar and The Dude have had break-ups and are trying to move on, Mr.Busybody has been ‘melancholy’ for sometime now and refuses to tell me why (I hate him), Mickey mouse..well..his existence is a bit of a problem for him. Gujju papdi’s life was always one big issue. Shotgun has been rather listless. Senior citizen sends me sentimental messages saying-Life moves on and two of the three musketeers have ailing loved ones. I mean, its like everyone’s sad times are clashing. So there’s a general feeling of dissatisfaction and unhappiness all around. No one really seems upbeat or buoyant and that is happening for the first time in 19.5 years of my life. Everyone’s life is messed up at the same time! Generally, I have a problem which I vent out to you. Some days later you repeat it to me. Now, phone sessions are longer because both sides have a lot to vent about! I am sure there’s some cosmic problem here and the stars are to be blamed (I know Mr.Busybody  and Rockstar will stop reading at this point if they haven’t already!) But how else do you explain this clash of misfortunes? (Song playing in head-Pyaar hua, ikraar hua hai)

Joblessness reminds me of how boring a watchman’s job must be. But that is a story for another day. I’m tired of typing (which reminds me of the lost art of ‘writing’ by the way) and I await a phone call which I know will not come. There will be more coming as and when I stare out into space again! (Song playing in head-Mere piya gaye Rangoon, wahan se kiya hai…)

Aah well..

Miss.World wins the Peace Prize!

Obama’s won the peace prize. I’ll leave the analysis of it ‘being an embarrassing joke’ to the experts. I’ll just say this- Obama, apart from giving us the ‘yes, we can’ motto (which I love!) has announced a ‘vision’ for world peace. He hasn’t achieved anything yet. And if having a ‘vision’ for world peace was enough to win one the Nobel Peace prize, then every woman who wins the Miss. World contest should be given a Nobel immediately. If there is one thing I remember about these pageants from the time I used to follow them religiously, all of the winners declared a wish to work for world peace. And most of them did too, since they were under contract. If the committee has been smart and done it to put the pressure on Obama to actually speed up the peace processes, then it may serve some purpose. But as of now, ‘Aishwarya Rai and Priyanka Chopra for the peace prize!’

Mumbai=Me?

(Since I have been missing Mumbai for the past few weeks, this is just to show my love for city!)

Mumbai personifies me. It has every value I seek in life. Its character is very similar to what I believe mine to be and definitely something I aspire to be. Mumbai seems to love the same values that I love and therefore, has a culture that promotes such values. I’ll show you how.

I love my independence. I love being able to walk out of the house whenever I want. I love the efficient public transport system which allows me to access any part of the city at any time during the day (or night). I love not having to depend on a male friend to escort me home if it gets even slightly late. I love the local trains and the BEST buses. I love being connected! I love my parents not checking on me every half-hour.

I love my freedom. I love not being fleeced by auto-wallahs as everyone uses the meter. I love the opportunities Mumbai offers, I love the ‘Yes, we can’ feeling I get here. I love the fact that people just let me be. I love the fact that Mumbai does not have a suffocating atmosphere. I love the ‘Live and let live’ attitude of Mumbaikars. I love the fact that there is no place in Mumbai I cannot go to because its ‘unsafe’. I love the fact that people mind their own business but are more than willing to help you if you need them.

I love my work. I love Mumbai’s strong work-ethic. I love the ultimate professionalism that Mumbaikars have. I love the work-aholism. I love the ‘nothing-is-impossible’ feeling within the people. I love the fact that you constantly need to evolve and upgrade yourself to be happy in this city. I Love the fact that the city never lets you stagnate I love the hard work that every Mumbaikar puts into his job. I love the competitive spirit. I love the ambition of the people. I love the numerous rags-to-riches stories. I love the discipline of the people. I love the work-comes-first attitude. I love looking at determined, focussed people rushing to their jobs. I love the hard-working, multi-tasking middle class.

I love my time. I love the mornings which begin very early. I love the nights which end very late. I love the levels of productivity. I love the fact that there seem to be more hours in a day in Mumbai because the shops, the public transport and the people  get up early and sleep late. I love the number of things you can fit into one day. I love being able to make time for everything-study, play, internet, reading, phone, newspapers, music etc-in a day. I love being able to work all day and still manage to find some time somewhere for myself. I love watching women cut vegetables in the train, increasing the time they can relax at home. I love ‘Amar Juice Centre’ which is a haven for midnight snacks (even if it half an hour away-its Mumbai!) I love the men on bicycles with coffee, eggs and sandwiches who become saviours in the middle of the night.

I love the buzz. I love the fact that the city never sleeps. I love looking at the blur of colour as people rush past me. I love the action-packed, fast-paced life. I love the night-life. I love Ganesh Chaturthi and its madness. I love the nine nights of Garba. I love the way every single festival is celebrated here. I love the way the communities come together and enjoy. I love the warmth of the people. I love seeing complete interact like they’ve known each other for ages. I love the concept of train-friends. I love Bollywood. I love not being star struck because stars are so common-place. I love the little squabbles people have on the local trains. I love the concerts that happen here. I love the fact that the glamour industry is right here.

I love spirit. I love the ‘never-say-die’ spirit which withstands natural and terrorist calamities. I Love the ‘get-up-and-move-on’ spirit which ensures that the city is up and on its feet within 24 hours of any calamity. I love the unity amongst the people. I love the way strangers become friends during trying times. I love the strength of the city to bounce back after every single disaster. I love the ‘thenga’ Mumbai shows to every element trying to de-stabilize it. I love the simplicity and the honesty of the people. I love the unpretentiousness of the people. I love the way people can’t be bothered to show off. I love the substance people in Mumbai have. I love the energy inside a chawl. I love the hopes and dreams of the chawl and slum-dwellers and the fact that they are all realistic in Mumbai. I love the way people like to lead chilled-out lives. I love the way men give their seats to a student who is studying for his exams in a local train. I love Mumbai’s confidence, its pride in its achievements and the constant desire to reach for higher stars.

I love the little things in life. I love the beach. And the rains. I love tucking into a samosa-pav/dosa/pani-puri by the roadside. I love walking at midnight. I love standing on the footboard of the trains and feeling the wind in my face. I love looking the city through a double-decker bus and watching the old and the new merge. I love looking at the Bandra-Worli sea-link and feeling proud of my city. I love Esselworld!

But do I love the city because of its particular character or do I love the character because I was born and brought up in the city? Do I value independence, freedom, professionalism, the ‘never-say-die’ spirit because these are values I was taught and I grew up with? Or do I love the city because it has all the values I seek in entities I choose to like? If I am not all that afraid of travelling in the dark, is it because of a quality I possess (irrespective of the city I grew up in) or because I never knew fear on the streets of Mumbai? Is it me or is it Mumbai? Any answers?

Nothing Philosophical..

People around me have various reasons for writing a blog. Mine is by far the lamest reason I have ever come across. See, I got caught up in the ‘blog-fever’ a couple of years ago and made an account on every blogsite. Nothing was ever posted and I have now forgotten the passwords to all of them. So, as a monument to that madness, I decided to make a new blog where I would atleast have a few posts AND remember the password!

Also, I realised that I have written absolutely nothing since March 2006. That is not good news for my writing skills. Considering that writing is a skill that has to be constantly developed and the inability to articulate my thoughts can be a MAJOR handicap, I decided to let my pen flow again. And knowing my very ‘filmy’ self, I know that the glamour(if there is any) of a blog will motivate me to write more than a diary can.

Thirdly, as the title goes, I speak too much. And therefore, I do not always find an audience for my ‘highly illuminating and life changing’ thoughts. Through this, I can vent and be happy and if you don’t like what I have written, you can make full use of the little ‘x’ button on the right hand side of the window! :p

As far as the content goes, I am no political writer or great satirist like my other esteemed blogger friends. So while it is not impossible, you are unlikely to find radical views that will change the world on this blog-seriously! I will write about whatever catches my eye-from the nescafe bhaiyya in my college to the real life Ellsworth Toohey type  characters I have been exposed to.  And you never know, pearls of wisdom from the nesacafe bhaiyya might change the world!

So much for the why and what. I should shut up now, even if it is MY blog.

Cheers!